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At business-y type of events people always talk about how important your "why" is. I love the thought behind it and think it is important to know the why behind anything we are doing. Otherwise we will lose heart when it gets tough. I have always said "to give women the strength for motherhood." That is totally true, but for me it goes so much deeper.

Growing up I was an athlete that was always running around. I was very fit, but couldn't even see it. I still remember my bestie and I doing crazy "Women's Day" magazine diets (cabbage soup or shakes, ugh) What on earth! Looking back I cannot believe my teenage self thought she needed to lose weight!

Fast forward to after my husband and I had our oldest daughter. She was about 6 months old when I just hit the wall. I knew I had to do something. I know many moms that love the infant phase, but girl, it was hard for me. I was so depressed. I was just keeping my head above water every day and it never occurred to me it might be postpartum depression. I just thought I was an awful mom and incredibly lonely. Looking back, I probably should have gotten help.

I never wanted to leave the house because that required real clothes that I was so uncomfortable wearing. I cannot find any pictures of myself from that time. I didn't want to be in them. I was SOOO moody too. My poor husband could do nothing right.

One day I looked at my little girl and realized with tears in my eyes I had to do something. I could not continue an unhealthy cycle of diets, poor self image, etc for her to replicate. She (and those around me) deserved the best version on me.

That weekend we went to Sears and bought a treadmill. I still have the same one today even after 10 years! I signed up for a half marathon 6 months from then and just started. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know what the end would look like, but I just started. At first it was walk and run intervals, but eventually I could run without stopping. I would wake up before everyone else and log miles on that treadmill. I watched a ton of movies during that long Alaskan winter. The day I ran 6 miles I ran straight upstairs and woke up my hubby to tell him. It was the first time in a long time that I was actually proud of myself!

What I know is that fitness and health can be a gateway to help you (and I) make changes. Every time I did more than I could the day before, I began to believe in myself. That is why this business of FIT4MOM is my mission. There is nothing else that I would rather do. I don't want moms to do this alone and not get to see what they can do. I don't want kids growing up with less than the best and most amazing version of their moms. I know it has changed everything about me and certainly helped me to be a better version of myself for my kiddos. That has nothing to do with a scale, size or image. It has everything to do with what it has lead me to believe about myself!

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